Why We Can’t Leave Iraq

Michael Moore hecame wealthy by telling the unadorned truth.

And this is shocking, because we have not heard the truth. It’s new to us.

To realize that the government is basically controlled by less than 1% of the population. To realize that they do cynical things for their own profit.

The companies that own the media and  have long promoted the idea that the government should not be involved in helping people, immediately had the government bail them out when they needed money.

For all of their wealth, those who make the decisions often make bad decisions, such as the timing of the war in Iraq.

I don’t know why Bush went into Iraq, really, it’s anyone’s guess.

But it was a mistake, a classic mistake, becoming overextended by having too many fronts.

This is elementary.

No doubt Saddam deserved to die.

The brutal humiliation  and hanging was not excessive when compared to his crimes.

At the time, I agreed with those who said, about Iraq, “Go in, get Saddam, and get out.”

But we broke it, we’ve got to fix it.

Bush policies broke it, and Obama has to fix it.

Let’s cut thorugh the flowery language and face what we have to do, to safeguard the Iraqi cilvilians, mainly the women and children, who are most vulnerable to the brutality of the various militant criminals.

We need no other reason to be there than that we are protecting innocent people from brutal criminals.

We have to make Iraq a client state.

We run it, for their benefit, but we don’t allow oppression of women or children or brainwashing or any of the other activities for which the militant criminals are justifiably famous.

If we can have a generation or two of education and less exposure to the evil side of Islamic indocrination, they may actually be able to run their own country, with us as staunch allies for as long as needed.

But we can’t leave now.

Even though I want to, and you want to.

The way they will oppress innocent people who just yearn for a normal life, and most particularly women and children, if we leave without putting in place a structure that will protect universally recognized human rights, would be brutal and murderous.

In Iran, right now, clerics are having women raped and executed.

In Afghanistan the Taliban orders women to be covered head to foot, with only a thick guaze peephole to see out of.

In Gaza women are being forced into the dark ages, more and more enforced “dress codes”.

I won’t go into all of it here.

The Sharia way is well known, or should be.

Some will say, it’s not our fight.

Of course it is.

We should have dealt with Afghanistan first  but now that we are in Iraq it would be immoral to just walk away.

That’s why we are still there.

I think it is an encouraging sign that President Obama isn’t just pulling out and leaving the people to fend for themselves.

It shows that he is going to do what he believes is right, even if it is not politically expedient.

General Petraeus: How I see The Afghan Conflict

ARLINGTON, Va. (Oct. 7, 2009_ – As the president reassembles his national security team today as part of his ongoing review of the strategy for Afghanistan, the commander of U.S. Central Command said the decision is likely to hinge on one of three approaches to reversing the insurgency’s gains.

Army Gen. David H. Petraeus yesterday cited three basic ways to “change the equation in an area where insurgents have made progress,” as he conceded they have in Afghanistan.

“One, you can turn bad guys into good guys, or at least neutral guys,” an effort referred to as “reintegration of reconcilables,” he told attendees at the annual Association of the U.S. Army conference here. “You can increase the number of host-nation security forces. Or you can increase the number of coalition forces.”

Petraeus resisted defining exactly how many U.S. forces he believes are needed to support the mission — an issue under intense discussion within the administration. About 68,000 U.S. forces will be on the ground there by the end of next month, and Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal, the U.S. and NATO commander on the ground, reportedly has asked for about 40,000 more.

The president will convene his national defense team again today, and later this week, to discuss this and other options for Afghanistan. Petraeus said he and his fellow uniformed participants have had “ample opportunity to provide our best professional military advice.”

McChrystal and U.S. Ambassador to Afghanistan Karl Eikenberry, who previously served as the ground commander in Afghanistan, are participating in the sessions by video teleconference. Anne Patterson, ambassador to Pakistan, also is participating.

“So this has been a very substantial endeavor,” Petraeus said. “It is moving quite rapidly. There is a recognition of the need to move through this.”

Although views of appropriate U.S. troop numbers vary widely, Petraeus said there’s little debate about two general principles: “Afghanistan obviously requires a sustained, substantial commitment” and more Afghan national security forces are needed.

The general resisted putting a precise timeline on when the United States will be able to declare its mission in Afghanistan completed, noting that it depends largely on how quickly Afghan national security forces can become fully developed.

That’s expected to occur by 2013 or 2014, he said, when Afghan security forces will assume the lead for security responsibility. But to be prepared for that transition, the Afghan National Army likely will need to grow to about 400,000 members, he said, more than initially projected.

Building the Afghan security forces isn’t a process that can be rushed, Petraeus told the group. “No question about the need to develop the Afghan national security forces as rapidly as possible, and likely to higher numbers,” he said. “But we have to keep in mind that there are limits to how fast you can accelerate that development,” particularly of commissioned and noncommissioned officer leaders.

Whether that happens as planned depends largely on the security situation, he said, recalling problems he encountered as commander of Multinational Force Iraq. When violence spiked there in mid-2006, “the Iraqi security force effort nosedived,” he said.

Petraeus said he’s committed to preventing a replay of that situation in Afghanistan. “It is hugely important that the security situation not undermine the Afghan security force effort,” he said.

Yet security has deteriorated in several key areas, he acknowledged. Taliban, al-Qaida and other extremist elements that had been defeated and left the country, reconstituted over time and returned to Afghanistan, putting down roots and increasing insurgent activity.

Petraeus said he shares McChrystal’s assessment that the situation is “serious,” but that turning it around is “doable.” Additional troops that have arrived in Regional Command South in recent months already have made some tactical gains, he said.

“Reversing that cycle of violence, arresting the downward spiral in some of these key areas [is] very important,” Petraeus said.

Turning yesterday’s discussion to Iraq, Petraeus cited “very substantial progress,” with violence down to about 15 to 20 attacks a day, compared to a high of 180 in mid-2007.

He attributed the progress to the surge in U.S. troops that helped quell violence and laid the foundation for other progress to take place.

Keith Olberman Takes On the Insurance Companies

Today Keith Olberman came straight out and said what he believed about the insurance industry.

It is  a  sign that the moderates are making substantial headway against the aristocrat Republican Party, that many centrists are proudly reffering to themselves as “the left”.

Here I think Keith Olberman performs a real public service and tries to make the Health Care debate what it is, a matter of life. And death.

MFB

I could bring up all the other Democrats doing their masters’ bidding in the House or the Senate, all the others who will get an extra thousand from somebody if they just postpone the vote another year, another month, another week, because right now without the competition of a government-funded insurance company, in one hour the health care industries can make so much money that they’d kill you for that extra hour of profit, I could call them all out by name.

But I think you get the point. We don’t need to call the Democrats holding this up Blue Dogs. That one word “Dogs” is perfectly sufficient. But let me speak to them collectively, anyway.I warn you all. You were not elected to create a Democratic majority. You were elected to restore this country. You were not elected to serve the corporations and the trusts who the government has enabled for the last eight years.

You were elected to serve the people. And if you fail to pass or support this legislation, the full wrath of the progressive and the moderate movements in this country will come down on your heads. Explain yourselves not to me, but to them. They elected you, and in the blink of an eye, they will replace you.

If you will behave as if you are Republicans — as if you are the prostitutes of our system –you will be judged as such. And you will lose not merely our respect. You will lose your jobs!

Every poll, every analysis, every vote, every region of this country supports health care reform, and the essential great leveling agent of a government-funded alternative to the unchecked duopoly of profiteering private insurance corporations. Cross us all at your peril.

Because, Congressman Ross, you are not the Representative from Blue Cross. And Mr. Baucus, you are not the Senator from Schering-Plough Global Health Care even if they have already given you $76,000 towards your re-election. And Ms. Lincoln, you are not the Senator from DaVita Dialysis.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, President Lincoln did not promise that this nation shall have a new death of freedom, and that government of the corporation, by the corporation, for the corporation, shall not perish from this earth.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/03/olbermann-slams-members-o_n_250580.html

Women and Girls in Afghanistan


The Taliban is not just bad because of what they did on 9/11, but also for the brutal way they treated women when they were in power.

This is a document released in 1998, when the Taliban was firmly in control in much of afghanistan, their treatment of women was deplorable, as this document shows:

Great Seal logo

WOMEN AND GIRLS IN AFGHANISTAN

Fact sheet released by the Senior Coordinator for
International Women’s
Issues, March 10, 1998.

  • Since the Taliban became a military and political force in late 1994, women and girls in Afghanistan have become virtually invisible in Taliban controlled portions of the country. The impact of Taliban imposed restrictions are most acutely felt in the cities where women had enjoyed relatively greater freedoms. In 1996, the University of Kabul reportedly had several thousand women students while thousands of professional women worked in different capacities in the city. Since the Taliban takeover, women are not allowed to attend school and others have been forced to leave their jobs.
  • The Taliban have issued edicts forbidding women from working outside the home, except in limited circumstances in the medical field. Hardest hit have been over 30,000 widows in Kabul and others elsewhere in the country, who are the sole providers for their families.
  • The Taliban prohibit girls from attending school. There are a few home based schools and some schools in rural areas which quietly operate to educate girls. They fear closure.
  • Women and girls are not allowed to appear outside the home unless wearing a head to toe covering called the burqa. A three inch square opening covered with mesh provides the only means for vision. Although the burqa was worn in Kabul before the Taliban took control, it was not an enforced dress code and many women wore only scarves that cover the head. Women are also forbidden from appearing in public with a male who is not their relative.
  • Women’s and girls’ access to medical services has been drastically cut back. Women are treated primarily by female doctors and the number of female doctors has been greatly reduced. It is also dangerous for women to leave their homes. For example, one mother in the city of Farah reportedly was shot by the Taliban militia for appearing in public to take her toddler to a doctor. The child was acutely ill and needed immediate medical attention.
  • Taliban militia mete out punishment for violations of these rules on the spot. For example, women have been beaten on the street if an inch of ankle shows under their burqa. They have been beaten if they are found to move about without an explanation acceptable to the Taliban. They have been beaten if they make noise when they walk. According to one report, a women struggling with two small children and groceries in her arms was reportedly beaten by the Taliban with a car antenna because she had let her face covering slip a fraction.
  • Taliban edicts require that windows in houses that have female occupants be painted over.

United States Response

  • Secretary of State Albright characterized the Taliban’s treatment of women and girls as “despicable” during her recent visit to the Nasir Bagh refugee camp in Pakistan. She said “We are opposed to their [the Taliban] approach to human rights, to their despicable treatment of women and children, and their lack of respect for human dignity, in a way more reminiscent of the past than the future.”

  • Promoting the observance of human rights, particularly the rights of women and girls, is one of our highest foreign policy priorities in Afghanistan. We will continue to press the Taliban in public and private, to extend equitable and humanitarian treatment to women and girls. We call upon the Taliban to lift its restrictions on the mobility and employment of women and the schooling of girls; we also call upon the Taliban and all factions to abide by internationally-accepted norms of human rights.

  • The United States is neutral toward the various Afghan factions fighting in that country, but our neutrality does not extend to violations of international norms of behavior. We condemn Taliban human rights violations, particularly against women and girls.

  • The United States does not plan to extend diplomatic recognition to the Taliban or the Northern Alliance. We do not plan to recognize any government unless it is broad-based, representative of all Afghans and respects international norms of behavior in human rights, including the human rights of women and girls.

  • The United States has taken a leadership role in the region and in the United Nations to promote peace in Afghanistan. We believe the United Nations is central to the peace process and support the efforts of the Secretary General’s Special Envoy, Ambassador Lakhdar Brahimi, and the work of the United Nations Special Mission to Afghanistan. We participate in the Group of Six Plus Two (the six countries bordering Afghanistan: Pakistan, Iran Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and China, plus the U.S. and Russia) in a serious attempt to see how progress can be made toward a peaceful negotiated settlement.
  • The United States has a commitment to providing humanitarian assistance to women and girls of Afghanistan. United States officials play a key role in making the issue of assistance to women in Afghanistan a major focus of the donors’ Afghanistan Support Group. In 1997 the United States government contributed $26.4 million to the United Nations High Commission on Refugees (UNHCR), the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) and the World Food Program to run a variety of programs that directly benefit Afghan women and girls. This was nearly a quarter of the total funding for the UNHCR and ICRC programs.
  • In 1997 the United States also provided $1.7 million for non-governmental organizations such as CARE and the International Rescue Committee for health and education programs and services. These programs directly benefit women and girls in Afghanistan and in neighboring refugee camps in Pakistan.
  • The United States recently called for an UNHCR investigation of reports of violence against women and girls in refugee camps in Pakistan. Due to United States efforts, an investigation is now underway. United States funding supports UNHCR procedures to provide protection to women and girls in refugee camps.

New Initiatives

  • The United States is committing up to $2.5 million in new funds for women’s grass roots organizations in Pakistan and for training to improve the skills of women in Afghanistan.
  • In Pakistan, this funding pays for activities such as training health workers and teachers, and training women’s groups to familiarize themselves with and advocate for their legal rights, and to communicate with other organizations, locally and internationally. This training will enable women to provide services in refugee camps, as well as prepare them with skills that they can take with them when they eventually return to Afghanistan. Some of the women have been in these camps for 20 years.
  • In Afghanistan, this training focuses primarily on health such as training local women to be community health workers; training women to be traditional birth attendants; and building the capacity of the local community to deal with basic health issues, particularly diseases that affect children. Funding also supports training women to participate in the development of rural rehabilitation projects. This will allow them to have a say, for example, in determining the location of the water well since the women are the ones who carry the water.

[end of document]

Blue Bar


Are Twitterers Criminals?

Last month Elliot Madison was arrested for twittering about police movements to protesters during the G-8 Summit in Pittsburgh, PA.

Thursday, the FBI also raided Mr. Madison’s home in Queens, NY, followed on Friday by Mr. Madison’s filing of a motion in the Eastern District of New York federal court in Brooklyn for the return of his seized property.
As a resource to journalists and interested readers, we are posting Mr. Madison’s motion and his lawyer’s supporting declaration; attached to the declaration are copies of the search warrant, an inventory of the seized items, and the original criminal complaint.

Mr Madison is being charge with possession of a criminal device, i.e., his cell phone.

Below Are the Court Documents in this case:
Madison_motion_EDNY.pdf 1.15 MB
Madison_Motion_EDNY_ordertoshowcause.pdf

This story is based on reporting from  http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2009/10/man-arrested-twittering-goes-court-eff-has-documen

Killer Robots, Can It Get Any Scarier?

Our thanks to the Website Mayopie for this…warning.
Killer Robots, Can It Get Any Scarier?
Reprinted from : Mayopie
The puzzle is finally coming together. I’ve warned you people time and time again. Do you listen? No. You come here, think I’m all jokey jokester despite my persistent warnings. Well, I can’t help you if you don’t take me seriously. Vagina.
“So how are we going to die today, Mayo?” I’m glad you asked. We all know that the military has been developing unmanned military vehicles for years. We also know that, ideally, if the military was able to replace soldiers with robots and do so in a cost-effective way, they’d do it in a heartbeat. We know that they’ve developed a robot that eats dead people for fuel. We also know that many AI engineers believe that a terminator style machine rebellion is quite possible. This is all 100% factual. Anything else? Oh yeah, now they’ve made one that can jump over walls up to 25 feet high.
It’s important to note that the people eating robot and the jumping robot’s technology haven’t yet been married, but how long do you think that will be? I’d say one year from now, our streets will be overrun with self aware, jumping, people-eating robots. That’s a conservative estimate based on my robot expertise. Don’t believe me? Ask me a robot question. Go ahead.
Will robots take over the earth?
Yes.
Need more? Fine, but I hate parlor tricks.
In Rocky IV, Uncle Paulie bought Rocky a robot for his birthday. True or False?
Pfft. True. And he reprogrammed its voice to sound sexy. And it had a car radio and a phone.
Have I danced enough for you? Should I also juggle?
I think we can safely say that I know what I’m talking about. The question is, what are you going to do to prepare for the jumping robot apocalypse? Fortunately, you’re here. That’s the first step. Consider yourself lucky because I can assure you that you are one of very few. Those that read this blog will not only be prepared, but will likely garner the key information needed to thrive in a robot ruled society.
Let’s begin. First, robots are emotionless. This is great because the last thing we need is an angry, people-eating, jumping robot. It also tells us that it won’t feel bad about eating you, so let’s call that a wash. Second, walls will no longer help you. That’s a shame because that was really my whole plan: Get behind a big wall. Shit. Now they’ve upped the game.Jumping robots. Touche’. Like in any war, contingency plans are required and in many cases can be more effective than the original plan. And while the military robot designers believe they have effectively countered my simple but brilliant wall strategy, they had obviously not accounted for my keen sense of warfare.
Actually, I’ve got nothing. Game. Set. Match. They jump now. It’s over. Damn you robot designers! Ok. Let’s not panic. We need to remain calm and think about this. Let’s recap:
The military has designed a robot that consumes dead people for fuel.
The military has designed a robot that can jump over walls as high as 25 feet.
Scientists believe that machines will become self aware.
Robots are strong. Like monkey strong. And they’re metal. And they have computer brains.
Humans are fleshy and not nearly as strong as monkeys.
Not only do humans not have computer brains, but they will smell or taste something even if you tell them it’s nasty.
David Caruso.
Many humans aren’t even self aware.
Again, I find myself on the fence about which side I want to be on. Johnny 5 or Steve Guttenberg? Robot or Will Robinson? Terminator or guy in drive thru line this morning that couldn’t scour for change in his ashtray while sitting in line? When I put it this way, the choice is simple. Go robotsOur thanks to the Website Mayopie for this…warning.
Killer Robots, Can It Get Any Scarier?
Reprinted from : Mayopie
The puzzle is finally coming together. I’ve warned you people time and time again. Do you listen? No. You come here, think I’m all jokey jokester despite my persistent warnings. Well, I can’t help you if you don’t take me seriously. Vagina.
“So how are we going to die today, Mayo?” I’m glad you asked. We all know that the military has been developing unmanned military vehicles for years. We also know that, ideally, if the military was able to replace soldiers with robots and do so in a cost-effective way, they’d do it in a heartbeat. We know that they’ve developed a robot that eats dead people for fuel. We also know that many AI engineers believe that a terminator style machine rebellion is quite possible. This is all 100% factual. Anything else? Oh yeah, now they’ve made one that can jump over walls up to 25 feet high.
It’s important to note that the people eating robot and the jumping robot’s technology haven’t yet been married, but how long do you think that will be? I’d say one year from now, our streets will be overrun with self aware, jumping, people-eating robots. That’s a conservative estimate based on my robot expertise. Don’t believe me? Ask me a robot question. Go ahead.
Will robots take over the earth?
Yes.
Need more? Fine, but I hate parlor tricks.
In Rocky IV, Uncle Paulie bought Rocky a robot for his birthday. True or False?
Pfft. True. And he reprogrammed its voice to sound sexy. And it had a car radio and a phone.
Have I danced enough for you? Should I also juggle?
I think we can safely say that I know what I’m talking about. The question is, what are you going to do to prepare for the jumping robot apocalypse? Fortunately, you’re here. That’s the first step. Consider yourself lucky because I can assure you that you are one of very few. Those that read this blog will not only be prepared, but will likely garner the key information needed to thrive in a robot ruled society.
Let’s begin. First, robots are emotionless. This is great because the last thing we need is an angry, people-eating, jumping robot. It also tells us that it won’t feel bad about eating you, so let’s call that a wash. Second, walls will no longer help you. That’s a shame because that was really my whole plan: Get behind a big wall. Shit. Now they’ve upped the game.Jumping robots. Touche’. Like in any war, contingency plans are required and in many cases can be more effective than the original plan. And while the military robot designers believe they have effectively countered my simple but brilliant wall strategy, they had obviously not accounted for my keen sense of warfare.
Actually, I’ve got nothing. Game. Set. Match. They jump now. It’s over. Damn you robot designers! Ok. Let’s not panic. We need to remain calm and think about this. Let’s recap:
The military has designed a robot that consumes dead people for fuel.
The military has designed a robot that can jump over walls as high as 25 feet.
Scientists believe that machines will become self aware.
Robots are strong. Like monkey strong. And they’re metal. And they have computer brains.
Humans are fleshy and not nearly as strong as monkeys.
Not only do humans not have computer brains, but they will smell or taste something even if you tell them it’s nasty.
David Caruso.
Many humans aren’t even self aware.
Again, I find myself on the fence about which side I want to be on. Johnny 5 or Steve Guttenberg? Robot or Will Robinson? Terminator or guy in drive thru line this morning that couldn’t scour for change in his ashtray while sitting in line? When I put it this way, the choice is simple. Go robotsOur thanks to the Website Mayopie for this…warning.
Killer Robots, Can It Get Any Scarier?
Reprinted from : Mayopie
The puzzle is finally coming together. I’ve warned you people time and time again. Do you listen? No. You come here, think I’m all jokey jokester despite my persistent warnings. Well, I can’t help you if you don’t take me seriously. Vagina.
“So how are we going to die today, Mayo?” I’m glad you asked. We all know that the military has been developing unmanned military vehicles for years. We also know that, ideally, if the military was able to replace soldiers with robots and do so in a cost-effective way, they’d do it in a heartbeat. We know that they’ve developed a robot that eats dead people for fuel. We also know that many AI engineers believe that a terminator style machine rebellion is quite possible. This is all 100% factual. Anything else? Oh yeah, now they’ve made one that can jump over walls up to 25 feet high.
It’s important to note that the people eating robot and the jumping robot’s technology haven’t yet been married, but how long do you think that will be? I’d say one year from now, our streets will be overrun with self aware, jumping, people-eating robots. That’s a conservative estimate based on my robot expertise. Don’t believe me? Ask me a robot question. Go ahead.
Will robots take over the earth?
Yes.
Need more? Fine, but I hate parlor tricks.
In Rocky IV, Uncle Paulie bought Rocky a robot for his birthday. True or False?
Pfft. True. And he reprogrammed its voice to sound sexy. And it had a car radio and a phone.
Have I danced enough for you? Should I also juggle?
I think we can safely say that I know what I’m talking about. The question is, what are you going to do to prepare for the jumping robot apocalypse? Fortunately, you’re here. That’s the first step. Consider yourself lucky because I can assure you that you are one of very few. Those that read this blog will not only be prepared, but will likely garner the key information needed to thrive in a robot ruled society.
Let’s begin. First, robots are emotionless. This is great because the last thing we need is an angry, people-eating, jumping robot. It also tells us that it won’t feel bad about eating you, so let’s call that a wash. Second, walls will no longer help you. That’s a shame because that was really my whole plan: Get behind a big wall. Shit. Now they’ve upped the game.Jumping robots. Touche’. Like in any war, contingency plans are required and in many cases can be more effective than the original plan. And while the military robot designers believe they have effectively countered my simple but brilliant wall strategy, they had obviously not accounted for my keen sense of warfare.
Actually, I’ve got nothing. Game. Set. Match. They jump now. It’s over. Damn you robot designers! Ok. Let’s not panic. We need to remain calm and think about this. Let’s recap:
The military has designed a robot that consumes dead people for fuel.
The military has designed a robot that can jump over walls as high as 25 feet.
Scientists believe that machines will become self aware.
Robots are strong. Like monkey strong. And they’re metal. And they have computer brains.
Humans are fleshy and not nearly as strong as monkeys.
Not only do humans not have computer brains, but they will smell or taste something even if you tell them it’s nasty.
David Caruso.
Many humans aren’t even self aware.
Again, I find myself on the fence about which side I want to be on. Johnny 5 or Steve Guttenberg? Robot or Will Robinson? Terminator or guy in drive thru line this morning that couldn’t scour for change in his ashtray while sitting in line? When I put it this way, the choice is simple. Go robots.

Reprinted from : Mayopie

The puzzle is finally coming together. I’ve warned you people time and time again. Do you listen? No. You come here, think I’m all jokey jokester despite my persistent warnings. Well, I can’t help you if you don’t take me seriously. Vagina.

“So how are we going to die today, Mayo?” I’m glad you asked. We all know that the military has been developing unmanned military vehicles for years. We also know that, ideally, if the military was able to replace soldiers with robots and do so in a cost-effective way, they’d do it in a heartbeat. We know that they’ve developed a robot that eats dead people for fuel. We also know that many AI engineers believe that a terminator style machine rebellion is quite possible. This is all 100% factual. Anything else? Oh yeah, now they’ve made one that can jump over walls up to 25 feet high.

It’s important to note that the people eating robot and the jumping robot’s technology haven’t yet been married, but how long do you think that will be? I’d say one year from now, our streets will be overrun with self aware, jumping, people-eating robots. That’s a conservative estimate based on my robot expertise. Don’t believe me? Ask me a robot question. Go ahead.

Will robots take over the earth?

Yes.

Need more? Fine, but I hate parlor tricks.

In Rocky IV, Uncle Paulie bought Rocky a robot for his birthday. True or False?

Pfft. True. And he reprogrammed its voice to sound sexy. And it had a car radio and a phone.

Have I danced enough for you? Should I also juggle?

I think we can safely say that I know what I’m talking about. The question is, what are you going to do to prepare for the jumping robot apocalypse? Fortunately, you’re here. That’s the first step. Consider yourself lucky because I can assure you that you are one of very few. Those that read this blog will not only be prepared, but will likely garner the key information needed to thrive in a robot ruled society.

Let’s begin. First, robots are emotionless. This is great because the last thing we need is an angry, people-eating, jumping robot. It also tells us that it won’t feel bad about eating you, so let’s call that a wash. Second, walls will no longer help you. That’s a shame because that was really my whole plan: Get behind a big wall. Shit. Now they’ve upped the game.Jumping robots. Touche’. Like in any war, contingency plans are required and in many cases can be more effective than the original plan. And while the military robot designers believe they have effectively countered my simple but brilliant wall strategy, they had obviously not accounted for my keen sense of warfare.

Actually, I’ve got nothing. Game. Set. Match. They jump now. It’s over. Damn you robot designers! Ok. Let’s not panic. We need to remain calm and think about this. Let’s recap:

The military has designed a robot that consumes dead people for fuel.

The military has designed a robot that can jump over walls as high as 25 feet.

Scientists believe that machines will become self aware.

Robots are strong. Like monkey strong. And they’re metal. And they have computer brains.

Humans are fleshy and not nearly as strong as monkeys.

Not only do humans not have computer brains, but they will smell or taste something even if you tell them it’s nasty.

David Caruso.

Many humans aren’t even self aware.

Again, I find myself on the fence about which side I want to be on. Johnny 5 or Steve Guttenberg? Robot or Will Robinson? Terminator or guy in drive thru line this morning that couldn’t scour for change in his ashtray while sitting in line? When I put it this way, the choice is simple. Go robots.

Singers Demand Beck Retraction

glenn beck, fruitcakeOn his morning radio show faux news commentator and hate-peddler Glenn Beck waxed enthusiastic about his love for the musical group, “Muse”. Before he finished praising the group their manager called up his show and asked that he retract his recommendation.

Understandable.  Beck’s commendation is like a kiss of death for anyone wishing to reach an adult audience with an IQ over 50.

MB